The most concise and clear definition of disenfranchised grief comes from Doka in Disenfranchised Grief that it is: “grief that persons experience when they incur a loss that is not, or cannot be openly acknowledged, publicly mourned, or socially supported."
Disenfranchised grief can also result from society’s lack of recognition of the relationship; for example a mistress mourning the death of her married lover, or even if the ability of the person to grieve is called into question as is often the case with intellectually disabled people. As a rule of thumb, a person who feels they shouldn't, or can't grieve due to the nature of the loss, the relationship with the deceased, religious grounds or societal views is said to be suffering from disenfranchised grief.
Types of Loss That Can Lead to Disenfranchised Grief
The key predictor of a disenfranchised grief reaction involves the circumstances surrounding the loss.
Moss, in a 2003 article titled “'The metaphor of “family' in staff communication about dying and death” writes that staff in nursing homes often experience disenfranchised grief when a resident dies. Many nursing homes encourage staff to treat the residents as their own family, and this creates a more pronounced reaction of grief in the event of a resident passing away which can in turn result in disenfranchised grief for the staff as they feel they should not be grieving due to the commonness of deaths in nursing homes and their required professionalism.
Barlow and Morrison in their 2002 article “ Survivors of suicide: Emerging counselling strategies” provide the poignant example of disenfranchised grief seen in survivors of suicide. Suicide is very much a stigmatised means of death and many people cannot find the right words. Anger is a common emotion experienced by suicide survivors, most often directed at the deceased for committing the act. The fact that this anger may never be resolved, combined with the social stigma associated with being angry with a deceased person, leads to a situation where the grief becomes disenfranchised.
Worden, in Grief Counselling and Grief Therapy: A Handbook for the Mental Health Practitioner writes that AIDS-related deaths may lead to disenfranchised grief. Issues like contagion, AIDS stigma, lack of social support, coupled with death often being of a young person can result in major psychological stressors for survivors.
Another form of loss that's likely to result in disenfranchised grief involves the death of a child through miscarriage, stillbirth, abortion or sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). These losses are often negated by society, as it is believed that the parents never had the chance to know their child so some believe grieving is unwarranted. In reality, nothing could be further from the truth, but this societal attitude is likely to result in a disenfranchised grief reaction in these bereaved parents.
How to Help Someone Suffering Disenfranchised Grief
The most common emotions associated with a disenfranchised grief reaction are anger and guilt. Sadness, fear, and anxiety are all associated as well, however it is the intense feelings of anger and guilt in addition to feeling socially alone with their grief that most clearly conceptualizes the disenfranchised grief reaction and separates it from other forms of complicated grief. This reaction can be devastating for people, leading to depression, severe anxiety, self-induced isolation, somatic illnesses, withdrawal, sleep disturbances and emotional problems.
To help someone through disenfranchised grief, the loss must firstly be acknowledged as real, and they must be given genuine time to grieve the loss properly. Professional counselling is recommended, yet the support of friends and family is critical for the healing process.
Sources:
Barlow, C. A. & Morrison, H. (2002) Survivors of suicide: Emerging counselling strategies, Journal of Psychosocial Nursing & Mental Health Services, January, Vol. 40, Issue 1, 28-40.
Doka, K. (1989) Disenfranchised Grief, Lexington, MA: Lexington Books.
Moss, M. S., Moss, S. Z., Rubinstein, R. L., & Black, H. K. (2003) The metaphor of “family” in staff communication about dying and death, The Journals of Gerontology: Series B: Psychological Sciences and Social Sciences, September, Vol. 58B, Issue 5, pg. 290.
Worden, J. W. (2003) Grief Counselling and Grief Therapy: A Handbook for the Mental Health Practitioner (3rd Edition), New York: Springer Publishing.
